The estimated divorce rate in 2021 was 45%, which surprisingly, isn't the highest in the world. BuzzFeed Community asked users about red flags that lead to divorce-- here are the top 26 signs you should cut bait:
1. You Don't Have To Do This
"My red flag was when I was standing at the back of the church with my dad, staring straight ahead like a deer caught in headlights, and he said to me, 'You don't have to do this, you know.' "
2. Don't You Think It's Time To Get Ready?
"Earlier that day, I realized I spent the entire morning doing my bridesmaids' makeup and focusing on them, when finally one of them said, 'Don't you think it's time you got ready?'"
3. The One To End All Previous Relationships
"He always said — almost proudly — that he'd been the one to end all of his previous relationships. I thought I would be the exception. I was not."
4. Married Too Fast
"I married my first wife extremely quickly. She wanted to get married, and I didn't want to break up."
5. His Mother Cried Tears Of Sorrow
"When we got married, his mother cried tears of sorrow, not happiness."
6. We Can Always Get Divorced
"The day of my wedding, my friends asked me how I was feeling, and I said, 'Well, I can always get divorced.' Don't settle — marry someone you really, truly love and can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. I'm remarried now, and it made the world of difference."
7. Cheated Constantly
"He cheated on me constantly, and I caught HPV. I wish I didn't let him gaslight me into thinking I was literally hallucinating his behavior, but I let him. I would take pictures of evidence, and he would say I staged it. I even tried to admit myself to the hospital for these 'delusions' he convinced me I was having, and ended up going to therapy instead. Six months later, I realized the problem was him...This is when I learned about gaslighting."
8. Ended At The Police Station
"On our first date, he mentioned that every one of his past relationships resulted in him at the police station because all of his ex-girlfriends were 'crazy.' He said he wanted someone 'normal' for a change. I should've realized he was the common denominator in all of those incidents."
9. Enjoyed Time Away
"I enjoyed my time away from him more than my time with him."
10. His Mom Said To Leave
"His mom told me to leave him, and that he wasn't 'ready' for someone like me. I wish I would've listened."
11. Depressed When He Came Home
"I would get super depressed when I knew he was going to be home from work soon, but I just brushed it off as being antisocial or independent. But now, I'm with someone who I'm still excited to see every single day after seven years."
12. Cheated On Every Single Partner
"My wife cheated on every single long-term partner she ever had, and even cheated on her first boyfriend with his brother! And she would talk about it almost as if she was proud of it, as though they deserved it."
13. Going Through The Phone
"He liked to go through my phone whenever I was asleep. I caught him once and asked if he found anything good. He said, 'No, but you deleted it all.'"
14. No Bedroom Chemistry
"We were best friends with little bedroom chemistry."
15. The Other Man
"I was 'the other man' in her previous marriage."
16. Small Lies
"She lied about seemingly small, insignificant things too often... Once she introduced her friend as her sister. No problem, except when her 'sister' needed to borrow money. I didn't even find out she wasn't her sister until years into the marriage! If they can lie about something small, they can definitely lie about something big."
17. Bad Credit
"Her bad credit. I knew it wasn't good, but I didn't realize how bad it was until right after we got married when we showed up to our apartment community with all of our shit in a moving truck and the manager wouldn't give us our key because she had a vehicle repo on her credit that she hadn't mentioned... I had to call my parents from their office and have them wire money to the bank before we could move in! We made it 50 weeks."
18. It's Because Of Him, Not You
"Before we got married, his mom said, 'If you ever get divorced, we will know it was because of him and not you.' That was a huge red flag, but at the time, all I could think was, 'Wow, what a mean thing to say about your own son!'"
19. So That's Your Middle Name?
"When we were filling out the marriage certificate in the courthouse, I remember thinking, 'Huh, so that’s your middle name.'"
20. Just Honest
"She wasn't mean, she was 'honest.'"
21. Always Alone
"I was always alone. I'd come home and be alone, I'd wake up and be alone, I'd have a few days off, and she'd always be gone with her friends, the majority of whom were men."
22. Sweating As They Said "I Do"
"I was shaking and had drops of sweat rolling off of everywhere — even my legs — right before I said, 'I do.'... Also telling was when the officiant had us repeat the vows, 'And fidelity,' and he said, 'Infidelity.' Turns out he had been cheating the whole time!"
23. Jealous Of Accomplishments
"She was always jealous of my accomplishments. It was me vs. her in her mind."
24. Saved Him From Being Gay
"My red flag was when he told me I 'saved' him from being gay."
25. Gut Feelings
"I had a gut feeling that I was marrying the wrong person — as I was walking down the aisle."
26. All The Previous Exes
"All of my mom's eight ex-husbands apparently ignored the red flag of how many times she's been married. Poor husband number nine ignored them, too!"