Oscar nominees who don't win Sunday night won't have go home empty-handed. From mittens to mace, an $80,000 swag bag might bring some consolation.   

Or maybe not. There's some pretty oddball stuff in this package put together by a company called Distinctive Assets.  

There are items such as Epic Pet Health electrolyte therapy, horse shampoo made for people, cable knit mittens, a mace pepper spray gun and a polar-loop activity tracker -- everybody needs one of those. There's also a leather iPhone case.

And do celebs really need Slimware portion-control plates. Can you see Judi Dench using the Le Petit Cirque aerial lessons. 

Candy, honey, candles and wine, OK, but then something called a drain wig. A drain wig. It keeps hair out of your drain.  

I've heard a lot of stars just give this stuff to their housekeepers.

Let's see who gets the swag bag come Sunday night.